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Okay, we’re not really going to be talking about
new outdoor grills or George Foreman's Lean Mean Fat Oozing Glorified
Frying Machine. This week "Chicks" looks at one of the stranger
creatures in the fantasy hockey universe – the rotisserie-style
hockey pool. This is by far the most complex type of hockey pool, but
it can also be the most rewarding. Winning one of these pools will
guarantee you the undying hatred of all the guys in the pool. Some
will even take their toys and go home, because they don’t want to
play any more. There’s nothing like hearing "yeah, but she only
beat me by a point – one lousy shorthanded goal, that’s all it
would have taken" for a whole year. Longer if you can pull off
repeat wins. In terms of the ‘gloat factor,’ it doesn’t get much
better than that.
You’ve probably already figured out that
rotisserie-style pools go on for more than one year at a time. In
fact, joining one of these pools more or less guarantees a five to ten
YEAR commitment – I know, you’re thinking Colombian drug lords get
less time than that these days – and they probably have more fun
along the way. But still, if you’re seriously into hockey and don’t
like starting with a completely blank slate every year, this could be
the type of pool for you. Or, if you are a Colombian drug lord (hey,
not every drug lord’s a guy), and you’ve got some extra time on
your hands….
The basic principle is simple – you draft a
full team of players (in something called an auction draft) that
will look a lot like a regular NHL team – forwards,
defensemen, and goalies – and you accumulate those players’
points in a number of categories throughout the year. Teams are
then ranked according to their standing in each category. The
team – let’s say it could be called the Mighty Turbot or the
Colombian Blue Jackets – with the highest combined ranking at
the end of the season wins. At that point you do a prolonged
dance of joy, collect your winnings, and then (and there are
hundreds of rule variations here) cut your team down to a core
of key players and then fill in the extra spots in the next year’s
draft.
Sounds simple, but most rotisserie leagues
will have been around for a while so if you want to get in you’ll
have to take over a team. Then you’ll be an expansion team
owner – which means that no matter how hard you try, how
dedicated you are, or how many legs "Roderigo" breaks
for you, your team will be awful for at least a year – longer
if you decide to fill out your team by picking from NHL
expansion teams. Generally teams only become available because
an owner has run them into the ground and has been asked (always
politely) to leave the league. Don’t let that put you off…
in our league there have been several successful ‘worst to
first’ runs. The
key to building a good team starts at the draft. A draft can consist of an
auction, a rotation draft (similar to other pools), or both. In an auction
you’ll have a fixed number of ‘auction dollars’ to ‘buy’ players
with. The temptation – especially for guys for some reason – is to
spend an enormous amount of money on the star players (for example $71 out
of a possible $225 on Jaromir Jagr), but think about it you have to buy a
whole team – if you blow all your money on one player, the rest of your
team likely won’t look too good. You’ll find yourself late in the
auction saying things like "Curtis Leschyshyn for $1 – he’ll be a
good pick this year, won’t he? Won’t he? Please God someone tell me he
will." Believe me, those are words you never want to hear yourself
saying. So, spend wisely. If you think the bidding is way out of line for
a guy – say $18 for a Florida defenseman you’ve never heard of and don’t
even have on your list – trust your instincts. Go for balance: a few
bona fide stars, a lot of consistent performers, decent goaltending, and a
couple of specialists – guys who score powerplay goals or short-handed
goals, or guys who take lots of penalties (if those are categories your
league is using). Remember
that the beauty of this style of league is that there’s always next
year. Plus, if your team really stinks you can always trade it away for a
whole new team during the year. See the upcoming column in Puckjunkie.com
called "Confessions of a Serial Trader." Someone will always
want your cast-offs, because Rotisserie Leagues will provide you with
living proof that "there’s a sucker born every day." |
Want more "Chicks"? See 2001/02
